I mean…

Its like being at the highest point on a roller coaster. Time stops. everything slows and you come to a realization that shit is about to get real. you have 5 emotions at once. you look to the person next to you for comfort only to find that they are going through the exact same thing, and can be of no assistance to you. You start to beat your self up for making such a stupid decision, but you cant, because at some point, this was what you wanted.

Either way, at this point, theres no reasoning now.

As that halted moment comes to an end, you start to inch forward… then you fall. weight is non existent. you just feel yourself crashing down toward the pavement. you curse the idea but enjoy the pain it brings. Your stomach is in your throat and tears are in your eyes. Its only you. Its a rush. its a trip. its something that you dont really want to do again. but if pressured again, you’re not too sure where you mind might lead you.. again…

The only comfort you have is knowing that, eventually, you will hit rock bottom and begin your journey back up…

eventually…

"… and all I could do was cry…"

confession…

i wish i could blame this blazing headache on a hangover… but i cant…

i didnt even drink last night.

[sf;aljk]

confession…

i walk around the house in heels when im in a good mood…

no particular place to go… but i’m struttin..

I dont believe in Divorce.

(Source: deeprootsofmines)

I get tiresome of men who only admire my appearance…

The focus is always on the body.

its always I can do this to you, or that to you, I want to do this to you, you should let me show you how i do… ect. im sure you can. -________-

Want to hear my current philosophy on teaching? My views on Vygotsky? 

Under this banging body,…I have pretty awesome conversational skills as well.

i am happy.

does that mean things are perfect? no.

does that mean that i’m not in pain? no.

does that mean that there are not things to be done? Things that are difficult & all around plain suck? no…!

what it does mean is that i am making a conscious decision to be happy amidst the troubles, issues, and hardships.

I’m too blessed to choose to be otherwise.

confession

I’m terrified to teach high school. & yet… i’m still working toward it.

[currently: reading research articles on wait-time…]

I miss singing…

i miss when a few of my peers & i would go to the practice rooms in our fine art buildings… one on the piano, and me and the other.. just singing, composing songs on the spot sometimes. doing covers of others. it was peaceful. it was therapeutic. It was amazing hearing our harmonies clash and wrap around each other… it was our secret.

i miss it.

turn-off.

a man with long nails. & please dont let them be dirty.

[gag]

Pet Peeve..

People who smack while eating. especially in public. should be stoned.

that is all.

confession

i absolutely hate when people, especially women, hold the middle finger up in photos. It BLOWS me so hard! i hate it. its so unbecoming. & un-lady like.

grow up sometime today. thanks.

Pet Peeve…

I absolutely cannot stand when a person & I are having a conversation and instead of coming to terms with the fact that they are indeed wrong, they reconstruct their initial argument to make their conclusion valid, totally disregarding their previous statement, and denying that that statement was ever made.

i promise. its ok to be wrong. you were now. im almost positive you will be again. grow some & deal with it.

**convo & topic in detail to come**

I miss him.

but my mind is telling my heart

“Don’t be stupid all your life.”

random…

i had always wished for a big brother… now i have ones i cant get away from… smh.. 

i love ‘em tho.